Though I have been a Christian for several years now, I've never quite felt at home in most churches -- especially megachurches -- and I have attended almost one hundred of them, of all different denominations. Dr. Bruce Charlton gave a name to the type of Christianity that resonates with me: Romantic Christianity, which is quite different from mainstream Christianity. People who are part of mainstream Christian culture are usually decent enough, and they mean well, yet they are generally lacking in discernment between good and evil.
In my observation, the naivete of Christian culture has rendered the church incompetent...not just in a sociopolitical sense, but the majority of churches I've visited seem to be spiritually lackluster as well. Materialism might be part of the reason...the focus on attracting more and more members with fancy buildings, catchy music, and so on. In that sense, the church is indistinguishable from secular corporations.
Yet even before I became a Christian, I felt as if I gradually became an outcast of sorts once text messaging and social media became part of everyday interaction. In school I noticed people starting to avoid eye contact and texting instead of talking to each other...and I thought that behavior was idiotic, so I didn't participate. Now "smart" technology has reached its peak and blossomed into a poisonous entity that produces the fruits of narcissism, all pervasive surveillance, and endless distraction from reality.
The world is so corrupt. As I write, the government is busy censoring the truth about the plandemic: labeling evidence of a covert operation to install weaponized 5G everywhere as fake news, removing social media posts that expose the truth (as usual), and arresting people who do not comply with our rights being taken away one by one. The virtual war against truth has been going on for quite some time, and now has extended beyond the Internet and into real life.
Lord, don't let the truth be hidden! Please awaken people and bring evil to justice. Bring Satan's children swiftly to Sheol. Father, don't let their tactics work any longer.
At the moment, there's almost a sense of false peace as everyone is hiding away in quarantine. Yet I have a feeling this won't last long. What is going to happen to this country and the world?
God, please don't let those psychopaths abolish the First and Second Amendments. May we have the courage to die before our rights are taken away. Shine the light of God upon the cockroaches behind this psyop, and may everyone see them scatter away.
The wicked use their God given intelligence to plot against the innocent -- what a waste of a mind! Yet God is aware of their schemes. God is the ultimate intelligence, the Creator of the world, the great mastermind -- not Satan, though he tries to be.
The arrogant and perishing are absolutely convinced that they're so smart, and everyone else is too stupid to see through their lies. However, a great percentage of the population instantly saw through this great deception. Let there be a great awakening, God, and may the world witness the victory of good over evil.
God is in control
The battle still wages in my mind. Though I don't have an extreme eating disorder like the skeletal stereotype portrayed on television, the thought patterns are similar, even if I don't look like I'll drop dead any moment. Apparently, both of my grandmothers and my uncle struggled with eating disorders -- anorexia on my mom's side and bulimia on my dad's side.
Could there be a genetic component? Anorexia is the last disorder I'd ever imagine having, and I actually used to look down upon people with the disorder as vain and stupid. That contributed to the deep sense of shame I felt about my thoughts and behavior.
When will the recovery time be over? In recovery, I feel out of control as my weight fluctuates, my blood sugar leaps and plummets, and a voracious appetite makes me want to eat all the food in sight. Strangely, at the time of this writing, the entire world is wondering when we shall recover from this mass psyop and have a sense of control over our own lives again.
For an entire year I haven't eaten enough, so I suppose my body is in repair. God has created the body with such wonderful healing capability. He is really the One in control, after all....
After I eat a large meal, I have edema around my stomach and thighs. The pain isn't as bad now as after the first day of refeeding, when my body felt so sore I didn't want to move...though I didn't have a choice, since I was literally moving that weekend. Now the swelling has reduced, and the blood sugar swings are less dramatic. Every night I've been waking up to eat...with my dog, who looks forward to those excursions now...and I still experience panic after a few hours of not eating. The severity is lessening, though, and at least my experience with anorexia gives me good practice in case of a real famine.
The other day, after moving the last heavy object out of the old apartment, I almost fainted and could not walk for awhile. Hopefully, soon all of the scary symptoms will subside...and I hope I become healthy again, as if I never had anorexia. Until then, I dislike being in limbo...the recovery process...because I want a solution now, direct answers, a system to follow. All I know is I can't return to the way I lived before...and in some strange sense, I think recovering from anorexia is similar to the world recovering from this latest psyop.
Could there be a genetic component? Anorexia is the last disorder I'd ever imagine having, and I actually used to look down upon people with the disorder as vain and stupid. That contributed to the deep sense of shame I felt about my thoughts and behavior.
When will the recovery time be over? In recovery, I feel out of control as my weight fluctuates, my blood sugar leaps and plummets, and a voracious appetite makes me want to eat all the food in sight. Strangely, at the time of this writing, the entire world is wondering when we shall recover from this mass psyop and have a sense of control over our own lives again.
For an entire year I haven't eaten enough, so I suppose my body is in repair. God has created the body with such wonderful healing capability. He is really the One in control, after all....
After I eat a large meal, I have edema around my stomach and thighs. The pain isn't as bad now as after the first day of refeeding, when my body felt so sore I didn't want to move...though I didn't have a choice, since I was literally moving that weekend. Now the swelling has reduced, and the blood sugar swings are less dramatic. Every night I've been waking up to eat...with my dog, who looks forward to those excursions now...and I still experience panic after a few hours of not eating. The severity is lessening, though, and at least my experience with anorexia gives me good practice in case of a real famine.
The other day, after moving the last heavy object out of the old apartment, I almost fainted and could not walk for awhile. Hopefully, soon all of the scary symptoms will subside...and I hope I become healthy again, as if I never had anorexia. Until then, I dislike being in limbo...the recovery process...because I want a solution now, direct answers, a system to follow. All I know is I can't return to the way I lived before...and in some strange sense, I think recovering from anorexia is similar to the world recovering from this latest psyop.
God's will
Grandfather passed away, as we expected....Thankfully, he felt no pain and was apparently very peaceful during the process, according to my aunt; he even snored contentedly while in a coma. We've postponed visiting family, since this happened just as medical martial law shut down the world.
God's timing is perfect. Grandfather has been spared forced quarantines and the establishment of the New World Order. We've received confirmations that he is in Heaven...dreams and other signs. Though he didn't openly talk about his beliefs, he wasn't completely close minded toward Christianity...and one never knows what is in another person's heart.
Recently I've been contemplating the phrase in 1 John 2:16, "the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life." Satan tempted Jesus with all three by offering Him power over all earthly kingdoms, telling Him to jump from a high place and have the angels rescue Him, and cajoling Him to create bread by His own power without relying upon the providence of God the Father. Satan's offer may seem almost kind superficially, yet a true act of kindness would be to simply give bread to Jesus without asking Him to violate God's will.
Satan is subtle, and his temptations align with the philosophy of "do what thou wilt," self will, rather than following God's will. Yet Jesus chose humility. The real issue of Satan's temptation isn't physical bread, but the pride of life.
God's timing is perfect. Grandfather has been spared forced quarantines and the establishment of the New World Order. We've received confirmations that he is in Heaven...dreams and other signs. Though he didn't openly talk about his beliefs, he wasn't completely close minded toward Christianity...and one never knows what is in another person's heart.
Recently I've been contemplating the phrase in 1 John 2:16, "the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life." Satan tempted Jesus with all three by offering Him power over all earthly kingdoms, telling Him to jump from a high place and have the angels rescue Him, and cajoling Him to create bread by His own power without relying upon the providence of God the Father. Satan's offer may seem almost kind superficially, yet a true act of kindness would be to simply give bread to Jesus without asking Him to violate God's will.
Satan is subtle, and his temptations align with the philosophy of "do what thou wilt," self will, rather than following God's will. Yet Jesus chose humility. The real issue of Satan's temptation isn't physical bread, but the pride of life.
Saying "no" to death and "yes" to life
Just a week after receiving the news about Professor Doom's passing, my grandfather had a massive stroke and heart attack simultaneously. Apparently that is very rare....He is in a coma now, with little chance of recovery. No one in the family expected this, since he had been in very good health until now. Though of course I hope for a miraculous healing, I trust God's will in this situation....
True repentance is an absolute change of direction, not a return to anorexic thoughts and habits. May I have the wisdom to accept my natural weight set point and be content. Though I can't change my genetics, I have the power to break anorexia's grip....Simply say "no" to death, and "yes" to life.
Anorexia is an identity theft, and is not who I really am.
True repentance is an absolute change of direction, not a return to anorexic thoughts and habits. May I have the wisdom to accept my natural weight set point and be content. Though I can't change my genetics, I have the power to break anorexia's grip....Simply say "no" to death, and "yes" to life.
Anorexia is an identity theft, and is not who I really am.
RIP Professor Doom
Today I received the news of Professor Doom's passing after a long battle with cancer, and I am heartbroken. He kept the blog Confessions of a College Professor. Though I came across his articles years ago as a grad student trying to figure out why the higher education system messed with my mind so much, just recently I found his blog again...and I regret that I never thanked him for his insights before this happened.
Still stuck in the system as an adjunct and plotting my escape, I found his blog informative and refreshing -- a dose of common sense that is so rare in this insane world.
Prof. Doom also wrote a book about the higher ed mess that I haven't read yet, though is definitely on my list: Why Johnny Can't Read, Write, or Do 'Rithmetic Even with a College Degree.
His blog still stands as a testament to his brilliance, shedding light upon the inner workings of the education-industrial complex and the implosion of the school system.
You will be missed, Professor Doom.
Still stuck in the system as an adjunct and plotting my escape, I found his blog informative and refreshing -- a dose of common sense that is so rare in this insane world.
Prof. Doom also wrote a book about the higher ed mess that I haven't read yet, though is definitely on my list: Why Johnny Can't Read, Write, or Do 'Rithmetic Even with a College Degree.
His blog still stands as a testament to his brilliance, shedding light upon the inner workings of the education-industrial complex and the implosion of the school system.
You will be missed, Professor Doom.
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