From time to time I still struggle with weight issues. There's a thin layer of fat on my body now that people probably wouldn't even notice in comparison to my anorexic body, and the fat has very important functions such as providing insulation, hormone regulation, and protection of my organs...yet I'm not used to the fat being there, and I'm afraid of becoming fat for real. The feeling of discomfort in my own skin never really went away.
This "illness" is based upon fear and the attempt to gain control. Not knowing the weight my body will settle at makes me anxious because I'm not in control. God is in control, because He created my body and knows what my ideal weight set point ought to be.
Despite the discomfort, anorexia is not an option for me anymore. There's no way I'm returning to that mess, because I have chosen the way of life. Perhaps the world thinks emaciation is beautiful, but the world is controlled by Satanic homosexual pedophiles. God's definition of beauty is different...natural and pure, as witnessed in creation. The lilies neither toil nor spin, yet they are beautiful....
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