Anorexia recovery is more like growing up than healing from an illness

Some people's entire existence is a lie. By trying to become superhuman, flawless, and angelic, they end up less than human. These are narcissists I'm thinking of...and we mere peons dare not question their motives or see through the facade.

Yet God tells us to test the spirits. We must, lest these pied pipers lead us to Hell with their mind control. Sometimes evil appears so good.

God's will isn't for people to be superhuman. Demons may help people perform illusory wonders and appear to be superhuman. Yet Jesus Himself constantly pointed toward the Father as the source of His power and goodness.

Therefore, I am content to be human...fully human, even all too human. God is the only hero. May I never pretend to be more than I am.

Sometimes I wind up at a crossroad, and I must make a decision. The decision is difficult because sacrifice is involved. Yet I follow God's will....

The choice I face now is to remain a perpetual child, or grow up and "put away childish things."

Childhood is a fun time of no responsibility....The imagination is free to run wild. Children are dependent, taken care of by others.

In contrast, adulthood is often dreary and difficult. Life becomes about taking care of others. In the past, people had no choice; growing up physically meant growing up mentally and spiritually. These days, people may choose whether to grow up or not -- in the mental and spiritual sense -- and many never do.

Yet I choose maturity, adulthood...to grow up, be responsible, leave childhood behind; life has now become about serving God and people.

Rather than simply being the rather modest creature God created me to be, I could devote my energy toward trying to stand out, show off my uniqueness to the world, and become an ideal fantasy version of myself. Life could be a competition of who is the most special of all, as I try with all of my might to become this superhuman. Yet becoming more than I am is impossible, and therefore must be obtained via deception...and I am not willing to live a lie.

Instead of trying to be who I am not, or even trying to be the best version of who I am...or who I think I want to be...I leave competition behind and choose simple contentment instead. Instead of extraordinariness, I choose ordinariness. Instead of my will, I choose God's will.