God's grace is enough, since no one else helped me with anorexia

In my experience, sermons at traditional churches can sometimes be more harmful than helpful.

For example, I found this journal entry I wrote a couple of years ago when I was first recovering from anorexia:

Today I visited church again. Lent, which I'm not participating in -- at least not in the traditional way -- starts this week, so the sermon was about fasting. The pastor told everyone to have self-control by giving up food for a day, or at least a meal. He planted subtle seeds of shame for enjoying food, disliking hunger, and eating three meals per day.

The words struck my heart right in the place of a recently healed wound that is still tender. The pastor instructed us to be anorexic....He taught rules I know well. As we prayed, I couldn't hold back tears prompted by dark memories of losing my little brother, frightening sickness, the concentration camp of graduate school...the long, grueling, colorless year of bondage with no one to talk to, no one to help or understand except God.

No one saw the tears, and I could tell no one, because no one would understand.

Yet as everyone's heads were obediently bowed and their eyes closed, oblivious to the pain searing the hearts of their Christian brothers and sisters around them -- not even wanting to know -- God caught the tears, and I sensed His presence...not because of, but in spite of where I was.

* * *

Sadly, church seems to be a social club of sorts for most people, rather than a place to really care for one another. Not once during my struggle with anorexia did I feel secure enough to share my struggle with anyone at church. Instead, I felt pressure to act cheerful and pretend I had no troubles at all.

One may argue that is my own problem, or a problem with that particular church...but I have been to many churches, and most of them are like that. Therefore I worked through anorexia in silence, with only God to help me. Of course God is enough, as He cured me...though the fact that I always felt compelled to hide my troubles rather than reveal them to fellow Christians indicates a serious flaw in postmodern "Christian culture."