Even now I still struggle with anorexic thoughts, with acceptance of imperfection, and I resist the fact that I may have to accept a larger body than I'd like.
Recovery from an eating disorder is a process that involves the mind, perhaps even more so than the body. Acceptance...and relinquishing a sense of control...is difficult. Lord, please help me trust that You are in control. Please grant me the wisdom of acceptance...the virtue of contentment...and the realization that there is no need to compare myself with others.
Fear never wins in my life. Though I used to fear driving...I drive all over the place now. Though I feared letting go of "control," I am no longer anorexic. How the anorexia developed in the first place still puzzles me, though I suspect part of the reason is fear of not being taken seriously if I have a feminine form. In this culture, a woman's "sexy curves" distract from her other qualities -- such as her mind and personality -- and she is automatically perceived as a bimbo.
Sexuality distracts from women's more profound qualities; anorexia takes away the curves and therefore the distraction.
Yet anorexia is actually slavery -- the exact opposite of control.
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