As I eat a regular diet, thoughts of food go to the wayside, as ought to happen if I am to do any work in God's kingdom beyond keeping my body just above the threshold of death.
After the basic requirement of nourishment is met, the mind is free to ponder higher matters, and the body is strong enough to carry out the calling.
Weight and measurements are of less concern now, as they ought to be; now I understand that reaching a particular number doesn't make someone beautiful.
* * *
God has been so merciful. Actually, I don't look much different than the way I looked with anorexia. Coworkers didn't even notice the change. Even my mother who sees me every day hardly noticed, other than commenting that I look healthier and happier.
The weight gain I feared so much ended up being nothing more than a subtle physical improvement.
Mentally I am a thousand times better off, and spiritually ten thousand times. Isn't that worth twelve pounds? God is so merciful that I don't have any serious health problems as a result of malnutrition.
He doesn't even blame the condition completely upon my sinful nature. Sin may have allowed access to the demon, but several causes contributed to the condition: generational curses, lack of support, the stress of grad school and the loss of loved ones. During all of that, Satan repeatedly told me I am not good enough....
No comments:
Post a Comment